LINDA SUSAN AGAR : Balancing Privacy and Public Life

What Are Personal Boundaries?

Today, we live in a highly interconnected world where many of our daily interactions happen digitally, and the line between public and private life has become increasingly blurred due to the prevalence of social media and digital platforms. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is critical for our overall mental health and wellbeing as individuals in a highly interactive society. Every single one of us is affected by this challenge, whether we are public figures or regular people trying to find our way while dealing with the pressures of social media. How we define the balance between what we share publicly versus privately will be challenging for us to learn and maintain as we continue living in this rapidly evolving digital age. The continual pressure to share our most intimate details with the global community through social media can often lead to feelings of anxiety about “missing out” on anything. Although it is very easy for us to become overwhelmed by this pressure, it is important to recognize that many people find greater satisfaction in life, form deeper connections with family and friends, and reduce their risk of falling prey to digital-age crimes such as identity theft and online harassment when they take the time to take a measured approach to sharing their personal experiences.

Establishing a Privacy Policy in Digital Space

Privacy in the digital age is maintained through proactive, active management of how you interact with the Internet and maintaining your image online; this includes reviewing privacy settings on all platforms on a monthly basis and regularly establishing your digital presence through careful selection of family, friends, and associates. Every digital community member should have a written policy on what to include in their profile and how they will communicate online with others. In addition to the immediate danger of being stalked and harassed, creating good boundaries online can prevent you from experiencing negative long-term consequences such as difficulties finding employment as a result of what you have previously posted and having challenging relationships as a result of your past actions. The concept of boundaries has expanded beyond just social media to now include email management, data privacy when shopping on Amazon and similar sites, and permission to access your information through applications such as Facebook and Instagram. Most people give their consent to allow access to their personal information (by not bothering to read or ask questions before agreeing to an app’s terms of service), thereby sacrificing their privacy for convenience. If you want to make intelligent choices about how to use technology during the digital age while simultaneously protecting your personal information and autonomy through proper diligence in the areas of digital literacy and digital boundaries, developing a level of digital literacy around your privacy will help you achieve this goal.

Privacy Management Strategies

Privacy for Families

Families are in a unique position in that they are presenting the children that do not have the ability to provide consent to be presented either digitally, or to be documented in any way as being a part of that ‘performance’ through their parents, or family members, while at the same time the children are having their lives documented digitally. The concept of “sharenting” where parents are ‘sharing’ the lives of their children extensively through the use of social media raises many questions regarding the rights of children to privacy, their future ‘digital footprint’, and the risks to their safety. Additionally, Parents should be conscientious when deciding what to ‘share’ about their children, as the cute baby pictures that they may be posting to their social media sites will be kept in perpetuity as digital records for the child, and those records will be permanently held by the Child when they become an adult. Establishing privacy policies for the family helps to ensure a common standard regarding the shared use of information by the family and offer protection for all members of the family, as there is a range of tolerance for privacy by each member. When establishing privacy policies, parents will want to establish guidelines regarding who may post about whom, what types of information will remain private and confidential, how to address disagreements regarding what to post, and what the consequences will be for violating family privacy policies. Parents continuing to have ongoing family-level discussions regarding privacy as their children develop will assist in developing the child’s sense of personal boundaries, as well as their level of digital literacy.

The Uniqueness of Creating Authentic Connections

The paradox that lies within our ability to connect on the internet via social media is that when we share everything about ourselves with so many people. Therefore we too often share fewer personal things one-on-one; therefore we become less intimate with the people we connect with on social media. People tend to share less meaningful information and experiences in person when posted as a status update on their social media, and anybody who posts anything on their social media accounts is typically viewed as a “friend” regardless of how they act in real life. On the other hand, if we can share meaningful things privately with our most trusted and closest friends and individuals, that can help solidify our relationships. As individuals feel secure in sharing their true feelings and emotions with one another, their relationship is strengthened. This is why people need privacy and to know the people with whom they share their true feelings will not make their true feelings public, or judge them. Therefore, we must create an environment where individuals can create authentic connections by putting away our phones, not documenting or taking pictures while hanging out with each other and focusing on making genuine, intimate connections with one another, and not with the absent audience.

Establishing Professional Boundaries

The requirement for professionals to have a social media presence to network and professionally grow can create an inherent dichotomy in that many individuals desire to protect their privacy. Nevertheless; maintaining an online presence that is strategic for career development is not comparable to the exposure of the personal elements of one’s life, since creating boundaries between the professional and personal digital identities can provide privacy and also assist in career development. An example of establishing boundaries would be creating professional accounts separate from personal accounts, having strict policies on the personal information that can be posted on professional accounts, and declining to connect with colleagues on their personal social media accounts. Accepting that the lack of privacy does not hinder professional development allows individuals who are focused on career advancement to create the appropriate professional boundaries while minimizing the risk of negative impact to their careers due to breaches of privacy. There are numerous examples of successful individuals who have very little online presence or very carefully curated online images and have achieved professional success. The important factor is to be deliberate about the professional image you want to represent while balancing personal privacy for your well-being while also protecting your professional and personal life from conflict.

Best Practices for Protecting Lifestyle Privacy

Protecting Local and Temporary Privacy

While discussion of digital privacy often overshadows physical privacy considerations, the protection of the home, or physical space, remains a critical component of safety and security. Protecting this type of privacy involves carefully managing who has access to your home (address and location), avoiding providing identifiable exterior photo images of the exterior of your home, using curtains, fences or walls to prevent others from observing inside your home or backyard, and knowing what your neighbours can see from their homes and how much privacy you truly have from passersby. The possibility of physical privacy violations through hacking into a home security camera system to gain access to the inside of your home, package theft while it is outside the structure of your home, or stalking all present legitimate risks; however, they can be lessened by taking a thoughtful approach towards privacy. The proliferation of smart homes raises many more considerations of physical privacy due to the fact that every home now has smart devices equipped with cameras and microphones. If you understand what personal information the devices equipped with cameras and microphones in your home may collect, who has access to that personal information and what measures you can take to safeguard that privacy, you can minimise the likelihood that you will experience violations of your privacy in the most intimate areas of your life. To reduce the chance of experiencing privacy violations, you should perform regular updates to your security software, use strong passwords, disable any function of these devices if you don’t use that function, and place these types of devices strategically.

Location Privacy and Travel: The Benefits of Delayed Postings

When you post your vacation photos on social media you’ll receive lots of likes and comments. Many people share their travel itineraries with friends on social media by creating “Reality” Zoom Rooms (where they post real-time videos of their travels), but this also communicates to would-be thieves that your house is unoccupied; in addition, it discloses your exact location to anyone monitoring your social media postings. Furthermore, posting about living your best life on social media while you’re away on vacation decreases your chances of having an enjoyable time while travelling, thus reinforcing the argument that people should wait until they’re back home to post about their trip. While posting photos of your travels is commonly associated with vacations, there are also people who use check-in apps on social media, as well as geotags on the photos they take. Although there may be times when location sharing could benefit you; such as helping you meet someone at a given location or allowing emergency personnel to locate you in the event of an emergency. However, continuously reporting your movements serves more as a means of surveying you and provides little or no value to your daily life. Being smart about where and how frequently you share your location, and knowing how to stop sharing your location through different apps; protects both your privacy; while still allowing you to use your location whenever necessary.

Privacy Impact Assessment

Reduced Financial and Consumer Privacy

Consumer Privacy Is Eroding

Companies collect too much information about you for targeted advertising and marketing. Many of these companies collect consumer information without their knowledge and do little to protect consumers’ privacy. However, consumers can use privacy-focused browsers, Ad Blockers, opt out of data sharing programs, use virtual credit cards for online shopping, and be selective in the loyalty programs. In which they participate (A Lot of Them Make Consumers Give Up Privacy in Exchange for Some Amount of Discount on Future Purchases). Being discreet about your financial situation (Income, Purchases and Overall Finances). Is an important part of maintaining financial privacy, regardless of whether that financial privacy represents a digital or physical environment. If you display wealth or expensive purchases publicly, you run the risk of attracting all kinds of unwanted attention (Theft Attempts, Fake Friends/Relationships, Workplace Jealousy). Keeping your financial information private is not because you are ashamed, but to protect yourself from the negative impact that having others know your financial situation will have on you and to keep y, our Relationships (With Family, Friends, Partners, etc.) genuine, no matter how much money you have or do not have. The connection between mental health and privacy can be improved through increased privacy and decreased stress and negative thinking. Also, lower mental health can prevent individuals from preserving healthy boundaries related to privacy. The same is true with regard to social media. A person’s privacy is at risk due to constant social comparison made possible by the unachievable expectations set forth by social media, and the presence of public negativity makes it difficult for individuals to maintain their mental health.​​Determining whether online sharing is providing genuine connection or reinforces the need to show off one’s ability to connect can help people develop appropriate mental health through appropriate use of privacy. For example, there is a distinction between asking for support when discussing one’s struggles versus posting on social media generally for attention. In the same way, celebrating a happy moment in life with a friend has a different purpose than trying to make someone envious of one’s accomplishments through social media. People should be aware of their reasons for sharing and wishing to maintain their privacy so that they can create their privacy practices based on their mental health needs and authentic values.

Teaching Privacy to Children

Educators and parents have an obligation to prepare children with healthy privacy practices as they grow up to be digital natives, and may not have an intrinsic understanding of the value of protecting privacy. Children can learn to be thoughtful and responsible about how and what information they share, who they share it with, and through what channels by having age-appropriate discussions regarding privacy. This will instil judgment in children that will help them protect themselves for the rest of their lives. Since children develop, mature and gain access to increasing levels of technology, discussions about appropriate use and behaviour will evolve from basic to more complex depending upon the age and time frame of discussions held with the child. The best way to teach privacy practices is to model healthy privacy behaviours by demonstrating what it is to respect the privacy of others, protecting their privacy, and drawing clear lines as to the appropriate versus inappropriate use of technology. Children will learn through observation that these behaviours are normal and appropriate when they witness their adult role models demonstrating these behaviours. In order to achieve the goal of raising children who view privacy as a basic right worthy of protecting rather than as an outdated notion with no relevance in today’s digital world, there must be ongoing discussions regarding healthy privacy practices with children of all ages.

Often Asked Questions Regarding Privacy and Modern Day

Q. To Want Privacy is the Same as Having Something to Hide?

A. Not at all. Privacy is a fundamental right of every human being. Everyone should be entitled to keep their private lives private. The idea that wanting privacy represents some kind of evidence of wrongdoing or hiding something justifies violations of privacy.

Q. How Much Should I Share on Social Media?

A. That depends on your level of comfort, the reasons you use social media, and your personal risk tolerance. In general, the less you share or post to the web or social media, the more protection you will have when it comes to your privacy. You should only share what you would want full disclosure of to anyone who would see it (including future employers) and/or to your children if they were to look back on your social media postings years from now.

Q. Would Maintaining Privacy Make Me Seem Antisocial / Secretive?

A. Healthy privacy boundaries encourage and facilitate the development of better relationships with friends and family. Those true friends will respect your boundaries. If others are critical about your right to maintain reasonable privacy, that is an issue they need to address within themselves. If someone asks you why you aren’t using social media, a polite and honest response could be something simple like “I like to keep my personal life private” or “Social media is just not for me.” You don’t need to explain your decision to maintain privacy. If you’ve already shared a lot of information on social media, you still can recover your privacy.

It will take some effort by deleting all old posts, changing your privacy settings, removing tags from sites, contacting the websites to ask them to remove the information, and committing to better social media practices in the future. It is possible to recover privacy, but it will take a lot of work. To protect the privacy of your children when other family members post pictures of them, talk to your relatives directly asking them to stop posting pictures of your kids or ask them to get your permission before posting. Be very specific when you talk to them about what your concerns are. Establish clear guidelines and consequences for violating them as necessary. The privacy and safety of your children is much more important than your relatives’ desire to post pictures of them on social media. It is not hypocritical to use social media and still desire privacy. You can use social media for a purpose, but that does not mean you have to post everything you do or accept the general privacy violation settings offered by social media sites. It is totally acceptable to use social media in a strategic manner with boundaries set around what you post and how much personal information you divulge.

Q: How can I keep my loved ones posted on the things that are important to them while still respecting my privacy?

A: The safest way to share this type of information with your family and friends is through private methods of communication (phone calls, text messages, emails to one or two people) rather than through social media accounts, where you may not feel comfortable sharing this information with the general public.

Q: Privacy Settings—What Are The Most Important Settings I Should Focus On?

A: Limit the number of people who get to see your posts and profile information, turn off geographical tracking using the built-in GPS on your device, prevent third-party applications from accessing your data and using your location information, use a variety of strong passwords for all of your accounts, enable “Two-Step Verification” for all of your accounts, and regularly review the list of the applications that are currently connected to your account.

Q: Is It Possible to Have a Successful Career While Maintaining Privacy?

A: Yes, it is entirely possible for someone to have a successful career while keeping their private life private. Just because you are networking as a businessperson, it does not mean that you must publicly expose your private life to everyone.

Disclaimer

This article serves as a general reference point with respect to privacy, boundaries, and digital life management. It does not constitute legal, mental health, or cybersecurity recommendations from a certified professional. Because privacy laws, rules, and recommended practices are different around the world, they change rapidly and often. As such, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for your decisions regarding privacy, security issues arising from your decision, how you conduct your relationships with others, or the outcomes associated with this article. Each person’s situation is unique and therefore privacy needs and appropriate boundaries are different for each culture, field of work, and risk profile. When you have questions regarding your legal rights, or whether someone violates your privacy rights, contact an attorney who specializes in privacy and is knowledgeable about privacy laws in your area. If you have mental health issues related to how you use social media or establish boundaries with others, consult a licensed mental health provider. Digital security and privacy must be updated continually due to the changing threat landscape; therefore, you should stay updated on digital security and privacy best practices. As for a child’s privacy, this needs extra care; parents should look into practices appropriate for their child’s development and consider speaking to an expert in child development should they wish to do so. The information contained here describes only general guidelines; they will not apply to every individual, or every situation.